My marriage is failing

Should I leave her?  Will she leave me?

I just don’t know.

My marriage has been in trouble these past few months and I don’t know how to deal with it. We’ve been together for almost fifteen years and I thought we would be together forever. Now I don’t anything. We’ve always been close and loving… but now she treats me like a dog. Worse than a dog. And I’ve just been putting up with it.

This diary blog has a purpose. I think it’s really easy to be complacent about relationships, to slip back in to the usual daily grind, to ignore the problems and just get on with it.

Hopefully this diary will help me remember how I’m feeling while all this is happening. Then if I start to slip back in to complacency, I’ll remember how good or bad things were, what I was feeling when such and such happened, and what was said at the time.

I don’t know if we will break up or stay together. But I want it to be the right decision either way, so I’m hoping this diary helps. I need all the help I can get.

I’ll do my best to be as honest as I can – hence the anonymity. If you have any advice about any of this, please comment or get in touch.

I’ve started posting my diary. The first entry is about something that happened when we were still teenagers. I’ve been thinking about it a bit recently, wondering how things would have worked out if I had just… I don’t know. Here it is.